Going strong with the extremely late blogs. I have yet to talk about the traditional wedding I went to a few weekends ago in Douala.
Again accompanied by Doris, we left for Douala, the economic capital of Cameroon. Situated on a delta with the river emptying into the ocean, Douala is the port city that brings in the money for the country. Noticeably better off by the organization of roads, state of the buildings, and general ambiance, Douala would have been a fun city to live in if not for the sweltering heat and humidity. Reminiscent of Minnesota summers where just sitting in the shade makes you sweat, I was fortunate to be staying at my friend’s cousin’s house with A/C!
Our friend Carol (fellow AIESECer) had invited the two of us to her sister’s traditional wedding, more commonly called the dowry ceremony. Dependant on means and following today’s modern society, Cameroonians usually hold two weddings, a traditional marriage and a “church” or civil marriage. Last weekend was solely dedicated to the dowry process and took place outside at Nadine’s (the bride) uncle’s house.
Saturday morning we all woke up to help with the food preparations. The house fairly calm for the fact that nothing was set up in advance, the three of us girls joined in with the aunts, cousins, friends, and random relatives outside to prepare. Chatting easily while snapping beans we were filled in on the events for the evening. Having all the family gathered around and helping, I became a little nostalgic for my own family holidays and events where preparations are virtually the same.
The ceremony was to start at 8:00 PM. As the hour approached the kitchen frenzy heightened. The food wasn’t ready in time, so there was about a one-hour delay in getting started. When it finally did, it was quite the spectacle. The heads of the bride’s family sat on an elevated platform to one side and addressed the groom’s family. The uncle guiding the proceedings welcomed the family to his home and for the occasion. Then the theatrics started. The uncle (Papa Antoine) asked the family, “what are you here for?” The communicator for the groom’s father replied, “we are here because we saw a beautiful flower at your house and we want to take her into our home.” The dialogue went back and forth for a while using metaphors to discuss the bride-to-be. Finally Papa Antoine gave in and said, “well we have many beautiful flowers at this house and so you will have to recognize the one you are talking about.” He went on to say that the flowers are very hard to find or are far away, and this was when the money started to fall, with the groom’s family offering compensation for bringing in the “rare flowers.”
Now, the aunts of the bride came into the picture. Finding young women to pretend to be Nadine, they covered them up in African fabrics and paraded them one by one into the courtyard while singing and dancing. Presenting each hidden women to the groom and his family more money and gifts were offered, especially if they guessed wrong. Finally after an hour or so, Nadine herself was covered up. Making even more of a hub-bub, it was clear that this woman was different than the rest. With the aunts pretending that they didn’t want to let her go, the march to the groom was laborious. When the groom responded that this woman was the flower he was looking for, the entire courtyard erupted into hoots and hollers, clapping and cheering. Nadine was unveiled and the aunts of the groom’s family joined into the circle surrounding the couple, dancing and singing a song that everyone seemed to know.
After the general brouhaha, Nadine was taken away again to change into her nice dress. Accompanied by the groom this time as she entered into the courtyard, the aunts surrounded the couple with dance and cheers. The two were led up to the platform with Papa Antoine where they were asked to drink from the palm wine necessary to complete the binding of the contract. In addition, they were asked to share a kola nut, another traditional rite of cementing the marriage. When the whole process was done, the groom got to kiss the bride. A three hour ceremony in total, the buffet started at 12 midnight.
I finally got to bed by 2 AM. Half the party had left, the other half were on their way to the dance clubs to continue the party. I just wanted to sleep. Since everyone was here from all over beds were in short order. The bed that Doris and I had shared the night before turned into an all out girls slumber party of 4 spoons. Somehow I still slept like a babe.
And so ended the first half of a Bamiléké wedding celebration.
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